Life in America: The GE Man

Ed’s worked for the company for 31 years, and figures he’s done pretty well for himself. Once in a mall he met a kid he’d gone to high school with. This kid was the big man on campus played football, used to pick on him a bit. Well, there he was living with his mother! At 35! Ed’s wife-soon-to-be-ex is in rehab. She quit her job to go back to school. Finished a masters and couldn’t find another job what with the recession and all so she started drinking. That was four years ago. Worst four years of his life, he never knew when he’d wake up to the sound of vomiting. Now she wants a “trial separation.” After 12 years! Oh he’ll be fine. He’s got a friend-just-a-friend who wants to go out for FTN – Friend Therapy Night. She’s nice and she understands him. His daughter weighs 300 pounds, but don’t get him started on that

Nope, he can’t fix my oven. He can’t even read the model number! “That thing’s so old the next piece that breaks you’ll never be able to replace. Shoot, I can’t even replace this busted burner! No, I can’t just go somewhere and look for a burner that would fit. I have to search on the computer using the model number and what I THINK is the model number doesn’t even come up on the system. . .No, it’s not planned obsolescence. Man, used to be I carried around a micro-fiche with me and then we had to throw away the ones that got out-dated and physically add new ones. Now we just hit update and this thing does it in minutes. Progress is great. You could use it as a warmer until the other burner dies.”

For that, I paid $75. But I got a coupon for $80 off if I replace it with a GE oven.

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