Anyone who wonders why people are baking for comfort these days has never come home to the olfactory bliss of fresh chocolate chip cookies. A few days ago I was feeling down. So I went searching for a legendary cookie recipe a friend sent me (and a thousand of her nearest and dearest) in the mid-1990s.  This recipe turned baking into an act of resistance.

Remember Neiman-Marcus? When I was little my mother treated shopping as a special girls’ outing. We’d have lunch in the café, then wander the aisles fondling things we could never buy—things I later decided I would never buy. Still, the place was a great favorite during our teenage shoplifting phase. Then it became part of an urban legend. Here’s the email:

Subject: Help me get even with Neiman-Marcus

One Saturday I took my daughter to Neiman-Marcus as a special treat. I bought a pretty scarf and a hair ribbon for my daughter. Then we had lunch in the café. I had a salad. She had grilled cheese. We decided to try the “Famous Neiman-Marcus Cookie” for dessert.  It was so delicious that I asked if the waitress would get me the recipe. She gave a little frown and said,      “I’m afraid not.”

“Well,” I said, “Would you let me buy the recipe?”

With a cute smile, she said, “Yes. Of course!”

When I asked how much, she responded, “Two-fifty.” I said, “Just add it to my tab.”

Her arched brows rose as she moistened her pencil and added it to my bill

A month later I heard the mail slip through the slot while I was doing the ironing. I opened my VISA statement and there was a bill from Neiman Marcus for $285.00. Can you believe it? Our lunch was $35—a lot at the time. The recipe was $250!” A month’s rent! I called the store right away and asked the manager to reduce my bill. I said I would send the recipe back.

She said, “Oh, no. You already have it. For all I know you might just copy it down.”

By now I was shaking with anger. I told her I would send this receipt to every cookie lover in my neighborhood. . . in the country. . . in the world! And they would never sell it again.

Unfazed, she replied, “I wish you wouldn’t.”

 And here, for you, is my revenge.

These cookies really are delicious.

I changed the recipe a smidge to up the comfort ratio.  

1 cup Unsalted Butter (2 sticks usually)

1/2 cup White Sugar

1 cup Brown Sugar

2 eggs

2 tsp vanilla

Blend moist ingredients until smooth then add to:

1 cup blended Oatmeal (chopped up in the blender)

1.5 cups flour

1/2 tsp salt

1 tsp baking soda

4 oz Hershey bar (grated) The secret ingredient

Choose from the following:

1.5 cups chopped nuts (I like walnuts best)

1.5 cups chocolate chips (semi-sweet!)

1.5 cups raisons or dried cranberries

Chill the dough if you're worried about cookie spread

Bake 8-10 minutes in oven preheated to 375 degrees

Cool before eating for the perfect crunch.

Makes about 2 dozen crunchy bits of paradise